Ruminations between seasons (because I need them out of my head)
It’s still 20 weeks until the third season of Game of Thrones starts here. I have made several theories, and I think it’s time to write them down so I can think some more.
These will be more meditation than actual predictions, and I have to say that I have heard some vague spoilers of the coming season, but I’ll put everything concerning those under a spoiler border. Those fearing Spoiler Walkers as much as I can read up there and then stop. There’s also some information that is in the first two books but not in the show and vice-versa, but I don’t think they matter that much. The scenes from the novels and the show get mixed in my head, so for example while Arya served under Weese in the Wailing Tower of Harrenhal, she was also a cupbearer for Tywin Lannister. I don’t know how that happened, but Arya and Tywin scenes are too great to dismiss.
Let’s start from the beginning, or before it. A couple of years ago, in King’s Landing, the Hand of the King (played by Jeff Bridges) met the Master of Ships…
What indeed happened? The Hand of the King fell sick and died quickly, despite the treatment of Grand Maester Pycelle. That’s the official story. But after some investigation, we have the complete picture of how, why and most importantly, who.
- Jon Arryn finds proof of the Hair-Gate, makes a list of Robert’s bastards and plans with Stannis to tell the tabloids, send Robin to safety in Dragonstone and Lysa to the Vale.
- Pycelle tells the queen, who orders Jon’s squire to poison him. The boy Hugh does just that.
- When Jon falls sick, Pycelle sends his own Maester away and “treats” him. Jon Arryn dies.
- The boy Hugh becomes ser Hugh, but his short career has a pointy end when the new Hand starts to meddle.
There. That mystery solved. Then we have the dagger. The unique dagger of Valyrian steel, given to a poor assassin to kill an eight-year-old. The most important question is of course who gave it, but the question that direly needs an answer is why. Why give it to a man who could well botch the whole assassination? Perhaps that was the point. I mean, of course Bran was meant to die, but the dagger was meant to be found as well.
Let’s see what people have said about it:
- Littlefinger: It was originally mine, but Tyrion won it from me in a bet.
- Tyrion: Why would I be so stupid to do that? Besides, I never had that dagger.
- Robin: Can I see the little man fly?
- Jaime: It was not me, it was not Cersei, it was not Tyrion, but Robert won the dagger in a bet.
So what do we make of this mess? I have a hard time thinking that it had been Robert, killing his best friend’s son for no reason is not in his character. Besides, the assassin was likely hired just before they were leaving and Robert only wanted Eddard, whom he was getting. Other people in the king’s group included Joffrey, Tommen, Myrcella and the Hound. From those, who would you bet did that? Yes, of course it was him. How did I not see that before?
But this investigation is still missing many important pieces, and Tyrion – for all the brilliant schemes he has – is a poor investigator.
But that’s for that. Let’s move to the future. What will happen on the next season, the first 500 pages of A Storm of Swords? Plots, deaths, food and nudity are my guess, but what kind of? Let’s start from the North.
Beyond the Wall, the three hundred men of the Night’s Watch are in big trouble. I’m sure most of my predictions will go wrong, but there’s going to be a bloodbath. I’ll be sad to lose the Old Bear (or Sam! Please not Sam! I have had 22 weeks to get over the fact that he might die but I still haven’t). Joer Mormont is a mentor, so while Jon has lost contact to him he is still on the list of characters-to-die-sooner-than-later.
Jon is lost. No one knows what happened to him (and there’s a chance that they all die anyway) and he has to play a deserter amidst the wildlings (oh dear, so many new names incoming). I sense a conflict in him. Let your angst flow through you, son. But hey, we’ll finally meet the King Beyond the Mountain, Mance Rayder. He surpassed Stannis Baratheon this season as the most mentioned important character that is not seen.
Speaking of characters like that, what about that frog-eater in the swamps, Howland Reed? The last one alive of Ned’s Friends, that group of adventurers who won the crown from the Targaryens. There’s a certain Caribbean vibe in him and his country, I want to see it.
If the dead come walking, do you think it matters who sits on the throne? A lot of people think so. Actually I think that whoever did the Iron Throne did a poor work in trying to make it hard to sit on as so many want to test it.
The current set of candidates is as follows:
(2) Renly Baratheon, who is not available to vote for anymore. He wishes for world peace.
(3) Robb Stark, who enjoys wolves and avenging his family.
(4) Balon Greyjoy, who is in just for giggles
(5) Stannis Baratheon, who is interested in the complexities of right and wrong
(6) Joffrey Baratheon, current title holder, who enjoys violence and shooting for sport
(7) Daenerys Targaryen, who… wait, is she in this year? Really? I’ll check my papers…
The big surprise last season was that Theon Greyjoy, a boy who was just on the background being confused for Rickon for the first season suddenly became a three-dimensional character. And oh boy I want him to go away now please. I think everyone knows why.
Suddenly there was a war in the North, and Theon got to control Winterfell for a few weeks before being hit unconscious and losing the fortress to… who?
The book tells us that it was Bolton’s Bastard (BB to friends), a character only mentioned once in the show. Why? Didn’t they want to show another new character so late in the season? Was it actually BB in the show? More questions, less answers. Still, there’s a war in the North, and the Iron Islanders seem to be winning. Can Robb go back even if he wins? What about Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha (and the Reek kids if they are in the show)? Do they get to any safety (Reek place please). A magic element of the show gets wider once Bran starts to open his third eye (without it he can never achieve perfection!)
Speaking of Robb, since Tywin had to go to save Cersei and Joffrey from themselves the Casterly Rock is now undefended. The siege of course could take the majority of the season but I predict that that’s where the biggest battle of the season takes place. Other possible place would have been the Wall (come on, it has been set up since the very first episode as a big battle set, I don’t think GRRM would just leave it at that) but there are no important characters anywhere close it. Unless Bran’s pals get there.
Will Theon still be a threat in his incompetence? You’d hope not, but he, Asha and Balon are pretty much the only important characters in the Greyjoy side of the war, and Theon is one with most drama in his life. Perhaps he’ll try again to capture some place. I don’t see him leaving the Greyjoys, he is desperate for their acceptance.
Brienne has been taking Jaime to King’s Landing (a quest in which I don’t see any sense). Or not, the only person who said that they were going there was Jaime and he could have been hoodwinked. Still, I’m interested in the ending of that mission.
Since Catelyn has been put under guard she is unlike to continue her trips around Westeros anytime soon. She and Robb are almost at the same positions as in the last season finale, except that she is under guard and the army is further to the west.
Since Robb is now married, what will the Late Lord Frey’s reaction be once he gets the next day’s tabloid? I’m actually very intrigued by the Twins. When Ol’ Walder finally kicks the bucket (I’m certain that it’s going to happen during the series), what will happen in the Frey family? A very tightly confined civil war? A Song of Ice and Fire – light version?
Can I just say that the Syrio Forel/Jaqen H’ghar reveal was one of the most heartwarming scenes in the finale after I realized what it meant? But now Arya is truly alone with only Gendry and Hot Pie with her. They will try to get to Riverrun but her journeys never go as planned. She was in the Lannister camp, will she now get a taste of the headquarters of the Brotherhood Without Banners, possibly led by a certain Dondarrion and including some former members of the Stark guard? Who could forget such characters as Lew or Donnis? And perhaps she’ll meet Nymeria again, but I think that scene could be more heart-wrenching than anything.
I don’t think we’ll see the Vale of Arryn again in this season. Lysa seems likely to sit this war out unless they get attacked. Wait, Tywin paid the mountain tribes, and they have gone home… with their new good weapons… oh dear.
“I am yours, and you are mine.” Tyrion has been nerfed, but he still has Shae. Now he plays the same game as before but in hard mode. (I think that Tywin would actually listen to him, he knows very well who was behind the defense of King’s Landing).
Tywin as the King’s Hand. I’m excited. I was afraid before that Tywin would die before he was properly used, but I’m not anymore. After all, the fifth book is named Dance with Dragons!
Joffrey. Please. Just. Have. A. Comically. Complicated. Fumble. With. Your. Crossbow. Please?
Cersei, other people are also people. Yes, your kids are people. Now listen, the other people are also… you are not listening.
Varys, Pycelle, Littlefinger, our three variables. While I still keep a healthy knife in my pocket when visiting them, I have taken a liking to them. Except Littlefinger, there is something in him I simply don’t like. Maybe it’s the mustache.
Okay, this prediction has to come true: Sansa will get out of King’s Landing and into some place where there are no Lannisters around. With the Hound if that can be arranged (why didn’t you go with him, that would have been great).
Over the Blackwater Bay we enter Dragonstone, where Stannis has had time to think through his last defeat. He lost quite a lot of men. How many of his bannermen desert him (those who were under Renly could well sneak to the Tyrell/Lannister-side)? What shall he do next? A shadow baby army? Alliances with other parties? Just sit at Dragonstone until Starks, Greyjoys, Lannisters and Tyrells have exhausted each other?
But what about the most southernmost kingdom, Dorne? The unbowen, unbent and unbroken? Tyrion has made deals to secure their alliance with the Lannisters, but will that hold? Will there be yet another king in this war? (Realistically speaking, I don’t think we’ll see a lot of Dornishmen in this season, they like the Arryns seem fine in sitting this one out)
But one place I would like to see so much is the Citadel in Oldtown. The Westeros University! Think young maesters Luwin and Pycelle having a party and playing Dungeons and Dragons: Maegor edition, what could top that?
Beyond the Narrow Sea, Daenerys Stormborn and her small but efficient barbarian horde pillaged the palace of the King of Qarth. Now they can have a small boat that they can use to sail… where? Pentos, where Magister Illyrio will be knees deep in ravens when the world hears of her being there with the dragons? The ruins of old Valyrian Empire (yesyesyesyesthis!)?
But before that I hope that we get to see Jorah the Pirate. Jorah the Poirot didn’t have a proper opportunity to show his skills, and neither did Jorah the Swashbuckler.
Here ends my predictions. Next we’ll have the Spoiler Wall, set up to defend the readers from Spoiler Walkers below. If you know what’s going to happen after the three blasts, do continue. If not, then you will stay here with maester Aemon. Take care of his ravens.
I HOPE IT’S TALL ENOUGH
No, that’s not a real spoiler. Or if it is, then DEAR WARU SANSA KILLS LITTLEFINGER!
I have been spoiled in the weirdest places. I’ve become so good at sensing them that I can close the tab immediately when I see the words “Game of Thrones” somewhere where I’m not sure that the text is spoiler-free.
For season two I was spoiled that maester Luwin dies and that Theon has a larger role. I can’t say that a death of a supporting character is that big a spoiler, especially in this show where part of a fun is seeing good characters die violent deaths.
For season three the supporting character death I’m aware of is… Talisa. The healer woman from Volantis. This gives me a new game to play: who, when and why? Someone from the Frey family, avenging the breaking of the deal? Someone else who tries to defeat the cub by using his loved ones? This will be more interesting than if I knew that she would live.
Another big thing I know is that these two seasons, three and four (and so the book A Storm of Swords) serve as a climax to the War of Five Kings. There will be many deaths. My friend in the military service who was currently reading A Feast of Crows said that Martin killed so many characters that he had to introduce new ones in the next book (People from Dorne, perhaps? More stuff for pointless speculation).
The last big thing is that this season will feature the Red Wedding. Those two words are all I know about it. It will be a wedding and it will be red. I don’t know who will be wed, who will die (obviously people will die), where the wedding will be, what kind of cake they’ll eat or anything. The three options I can think of are
- Joffrey and Margaery (This is my guess)
- Stannis and Melisandre (But Stannis is married, you say. Well, going from married to single is easy in this show)
- Daenerys and N.N. (An alliance sealed perhaps? Or could Jorah get lucky?)
Just kidding, I know everything about the Red Wedding. This is how it will go:
There will be a big wedding party, Joffrey will tell the story of how he almost caught a big fish, Tywin laughs so much that he falls from a chair, Tyrion and Varys play a board game, Cercei compliments Margaery of her dress choice and amidst all the excitement Littlefinger spills red wine to the white tablecloth. “Petyr!” everyone says in unison. Roll the credits over a freeze frame.